Naruto: Deal with the Devil
by JackOfBladesX
Summary: Forced into a situation that he finds unreasonable leaves Naruto with no one to turn to.  He Finds no salvation in heaven, and is bound by the laws of Man.  So Naruto turns to the Devil of Konoha in order to protect himself. What will happen? AU.


**Disclaimor: I don't own Naruto…or some of the other characters (expys) I had originally planned to include in this story.**

**A/N: This is just an idea that has been churning in my head for a while now. Sorry to say, I don't actually know if I plan to continue this story. Honestly, this is just a deconstruction of the typical 'Naruto gets a Harem to start his own clan'-archetype. Not sure if it's any good.**

**Deal with a Devil**

**Chapter 1: But, I don't want a Harem.**

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><p><em>It all started on one quiet day. Things had been going good for me lately. Figures the universe would see this and immediately decide to fuck with me more than it already has.<em>

* * *

><p>-x-<p>

"Mmmm, this is definitely your best stuff yet, old man!" the blond said, through a mouth full of noodles.

Teuchi Ichiraku, the owner of the Ichiraku Ramen Stand, turned and smiled at the young boy, "You say that about everything I make you. Oh, and stop talking with you mouth full, boy."

He quickly chewed and swallowed the food in his mouth, before continuing, "This is definitely your best bowl though."

Rolling his eyes, the old man turned back to his pot, using his ladle to grab a heap full of the broth. He then brought it over to the blond and dumped it into the young man's bowl, "Here."

"Wow, thanks old man!"

"Oh, and I didn't give you more because of your phony compliments, so you can cut that crap out right now", the chef said, as he turned back towards his pot. "I just feel congratulations are in order for completing your first C-rank mission."

Once again, through a mouthful of noodles, "It wasn't a C-rank mission though!"

"Don't talk with you mouth full!" Teuchi snapped.

Once again, Naruto quickly swallowed the food, "It wasn't a C-rank mission. It got upgraded to an A-rank mission."

Cocking an eyebrow, obviously thinking the boy to be exaggerating, the old man glanced back at the boy skeptically. "Your not getting another freebie kid."

"But I'm serious! The old man who hired us was lying. He actually had other ninja after him!"

'Other ninja?' Ichiraku wondered in shock. He fully turned to look at the young man, but any reply he had was caught in his throat. 'ANBU?'

"Naruto Uzumaki", an ANBU with a Tiger mask began. He was the only one there, so it probably wasn't anything _too_ seriously.

The blond raised an eyebrow, "Yea?" In his experiences, an ANBU coming to talk to you was never a good sign. Then again, whenever an ANBU came to speak with him specifically, it was normally because of a prank that he had pulled. Normally a whole squad came to speak with him though. ANBU worked in groups of four; he'd never seen one working solo.

"The Hokage wishes to speak with you. Please report to the Hokage's office at noon."

The blond nodded, making a mental note that noon would be in exactly one hour. He was smart enough to know that when an ANBU says _please_, they were actually saying, in the most polite way possible: _this is an order and you don't have a choice_.

The ANBU disappeared in a swirl of leaves a moment later.

"Man", Teuchi began after a few moments, "I always love seeing you guys do that disappearing trick. What's that called anyway?"

"I think it's called **Shunshin**", Naruto said, turning back to his bowl of ramen. On the inside, he was wondering why the Hokage wanted to speak with him. He shrugged as he went back to his meal. He couldn't do anything about it at this point, so he'd put it out of his mind until he spoke with the old man in an hour.

"You going to learn that any time soon?"

The blond furrowed his eyebrow. It was definitely something he wouldn't mind learning. "Maybe…" he thought, looking down at his bowl. "If I could disappear in a swirl of ramen."

Teuchi snorted at that, not even bothering to turn around.

* * *

><p>-x-<p>

_I honestly didn't know what the old man wanted with me at the time. But like most times when I was honestly confused with what was going on around me, I decided to break the ice with my normal attitude._

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><p>-x-<p>

"Yo gramps, finally decided to hand over your hat and make me Hokage?" After he had said that, he noticed that two of the Hokage's advisors, were there as well. Homura and Koharu, two people that he could honestly say he didn't like. The woman, Koharu, snorted, obviously at the prospect of _him_ becoming Hokage.

The wizened old leader of Konohagakure no Sato smiled back at Naruto. "I'm afraid not Naruto."

The blond gave his faux-grandfather a mock frown, "Then what'd you want?"

"I wanted to tell you about your father", the old man began.

The blond actually felt his heart. "My father?"

Hiruzen nodded. "Yes, Naruto, your father." He gestured towards the seat in front of his desk. "Please sit down."

He managed to make the walk over to the chair the old man provided for him, even though his legs felt like little more than jelly. Sitting down, Naruto calmly, at least on the outside, looked up at the old man he considered a grandfather. He'd asked about his parents a few times in the past, but was always denied any answers. The Hokage always managed to distract him, in one way or another, and changed the subject. In truth, after the whole Mizuki incident, he had been afraid to ask. After finding out that he had a giant demon within him, it really limited, at least in his mind, the possible fates of his parents. Either they were dead, or they didn't want a demon. Seemed simple enough.

"His name was Minato Namikaze."

The first thing he realized was that the name was very familiar. It took him another moment to realize _why_ that name was familiar. "The Fourth? The Fourth was my father?" the blond asked with wide eyes. Upon seeing the old man nod, a storm of emotions welled up inside of him. The first one, strangely enough, was slight embarrassment: he really wished the old man had spoken to him in private about this. He was angry: at the thought that his own father was the one who damned him to this life. He was proud: at the thought that his idol was his own father. And in the end, he knew he couldn't be completely angry with the man. He didn't just save the lives of everyone in the village, but Naruto's life as well. He couldn't fault him for that…not completely anyway. There was one question that nagged at his consciousness though, "What about my mother."

"Her name was Kushina Uzumaki", Hiruzen replied without missing a beat.

The blond nodded, he really wished he had a picture of her, and his father. 'Maybe the old man has one', he thought to himself.

"Now, there's something I wanted to talk to you about." Hiruzen interrupted his reverie.

Placing his request in the back of his mind, he nodded at the old man, "So what did ya want, gramps?"

"Manners, Uzumaki", Koharu admonished.

Giving Koharu a slightly annoyed look before turning back to Hiruzen, he decided to rephrase his question. "So…how may I serve you, gramps?" He turned towards Koharu, to see if the old woman was satisfied. She wasn't…that much was obvious.

Smiling, the Hokage leaned forward on his desk, "You see Naruto, both your father and mother decided that they wanted to create their own clan, the _Namikaze Clan_. It was a dream I'm sure that they both would want to see you carry out."

The blond frowned, slowly seeing where this was going.

"We want to enter you into something called the Clan Restoration Act (CRA). Essentially, you would be allowed to, legally, take multiple women as your wives to create the Namikaze Clan. Since you already hit puberty, you're the right age to begin the…process. So we want you to begin as soon as possible", Hiruzen finished. He frowned when he noticed Naruto's expression. Did the blond have a problem with this prospect? He'd think most men, teenagers especially, would jump at the idea of having multiple wives/partners. Naruto was not just being allowed, but encouraged to go out and have children with many woman. 'Perhaps he thinks he won't be able to find a woman to bare his children', Hiruzen thought. Obviously, finding out that the Kyuubi was inside of him did little to help Naruto's ever failing self-esteem, not that he allowed that to show. 'No matter, we've taken precautions for just that possibility', the Hokage thought, thinking of the folder full of woman that wanted to take part in the CRA.

"I'm sorry gramps…but I can't do that."

"What?" asked all three of the elder shinobi, looking at the blond in shock. He wasn't called the most surprising ninja for nothing. All three were slightly embarrassed at their lack of control, but managed to regain their composure quickly enough.

"I said, I **can't** do it."

The three elders looked at the blond curiously, but it was Homura that voiced the question they were all thinking. "Why not? I personally would have loved the opportunity to make a harem at your age", the man said truthfully, ignoring the fact that his female teammate was currently trying to glare a hole into his head. Funny how he could feel the exact spot that her stare was attempting to penetrate.

The blond shrugged, "I'm sure most guys would…but I'm not most guys. You all should know that well enough."

Koharu turned her head, "But you still haven't given us an actual answer. You said you can't take part in the program, why not?"

The blond ninja looked straight at the Hokage, "Because I don't want to have children."

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><p>-x-<p>

That was a lie actually. I really did want to have a kid, just…not in Konoha.

_The thought of having someone who loved me unconditionally was always something I wanted to experience. I remember reading a lot of books on parenting (something I would deny vehemently if ever asked about). The one thing all the books had in common is this: there is nothing between heaven and earth that is more pure than the love between a parent and their child. I knew from a young age that I would never have that bond from the child's side…so I thought it'd be nice to get it from the father's. A child…someone who would love me unconditionally because I am their father…a child is something that I always __**wanted**__. However, I didn't want to have one at the age of thirteen._

_And I definitely didn't want to have one in Konoha. I've been treated like crap my entire life. People glare at me, for the oh so 'horrible' crime of breathing. I've had rocks and bottles thrown at me. My apartment is constantly broken into and trashed. I even remembered being attacked when I was younger. What the hell would those jackasses do if I had a baby? If the __**Demon**__ had a baby?_

_I also knew that I wasn't nearly responsible enough to raise a child, hell I could barely take care of myself. Besides, whom would I have children with? Random woman in Konoha who wanted to get in the Namikaze clan. They'd probably keep me at arms length from the children because they don't want the demon close to __her__ child? I didn't want to just have a child and __not__ be part of his or her life…I've already lived my life without a father – and a mother for that matter - I didn't want to put my kid through that same life._

_No…I refuse to have a child in Konoha. I won't even consider it until I'm one hundred percent sure that __**they've**__ changed. _

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><p>-x-<p>

"But why?"

"I just don't", Naruto said simply. He really didn't want to have this conversation with the Hokage.

The current Hokage of Konoha frowned, "I'm afraid I'm going to need an answer Naruto."

The Jinchuuriki's eyes furrowed in annoyance, "Fine. You want a reason? Simple, I don't want to have children in _this_ village", the blond said simply. The Hokage looked like he was going to respond, but Naruto beat him to the point. "People have treated me like garbage, worse than garbage really, my entire life. I'm not going to give them the opportunity to do that to my kids. So I took a vow not to bring any children into this world."

The old man smiled warmly at the blond. "Naruto, it wouldn't be like that."

The blond scowled right back. "I'm sure, the fourth…my father…thought that right before he died." That comment actually caused Hiruzen to flinch. "I forget, how well did _that_ turn out?" Hiruzen gave the boy a sad look.

Koharu scowled at the boy, "Check those snide remarks, Uzumaki!" The blond sent the woman a dirty look in response.

Sarutobi frowned at the boy, "Things will be different Naruto."

"You may think so, but I'm not willing to make that bet", Naruto shot back.

Hiruzen sighed, looking at the boy. In truth he could understand the boy's side of things. Konoha, as sad as he was to admit, didn't always treat their heroes with the respect they deserved. He distinctly remembered Sakumo Hatake's final action as a team leader, an action that Hiruzen fully respected and agreed with. Sadly…Sarutobi was one of the few who did. There were also issues with the Aburame Clan, and the fact that they were literal walking hives for insects. Any random ninja would say that they had no problem with the Aburame, ask a non-shinobi though and you'd get a different answer. No, Naruto's reservations were completely justified. However, he had no intention in allowing anything to happen to the future Namikaze children. Unfortunately, he had no way of proving this to Naruto…so he'd have to push on through with his plan, and prove it to the boy. Actions spoke louder than words, after all. Besides, it was about time the boy had a little happiness in his bleak life. "I'm sorry Naruto, but I'm afraid we can't give you a choice in this manner. Both myself, and Konoha's council have agreed that these terms are the best, not just for you, but for Konoha as well."

The blond sneered at the old man, "I didn't realize Konoha was in the market of forcing prostitution."

"Don't twist words around, Uzumaki", Homura admonished.

"And the act of procreation doesn't even need to be involved", Koharu warned. Or at least Naruto thought she intended it as a warning. "Hokage-sama and multiple Clan Heads decided that procreation would be the most suitable method. _If_ you continue to act like a petulant child, then appropriate actions will be taken to expedite this cause."

The blond jumped to his feet, and slammed his hands on the Hokage's table, "You don't have the right!" Naruto growled.

"Naruto!" the Hokage snapped. "Sit down."

Meeting the Hokage's gaze for several moments, the blond slowly sat back down in his chair. In a much calmer tone of voice, the blond said, "You don't have the right. I know Konoha's laws and I can think of three different ones, from the top of my head, which prevent you from forcing me to do take part in this. As a citizen of Konohagakure no Sato, I am well within my rights to refuse." The blond smirked when he saw all three of the elders frown. "I've been doing more than screaming out, _I'm going to be Hokage_. I've actually been studying, ya know."

"Unfortunately, _you_ don't have the ability to refuse us Naruto", Hiruzen said in a slightly annoyed voice. This really wasn't supposed to be this hard. Then again, he didn't actually think the blond would refuse in the first place.

"That's bullshit!" the blond snapped.

"Language, Uzumaki!" Koharu shot back.

Fighting back the urge to tell the old woman to _fuck off_, he turned back to the Hokage, "So what? Since I'm the freaking Demon Container, I don't get the same protection the _normal _people do from Konoha's laws" he spat.

"Actually, it's because you're a minor", Homura stated.

Looking at the man with wide eyes, "I'm a fucking GENIN!"

"Uzumaki!" Koharu warned again. "You will not-" She stopped the moment she saw her former teammate, and current Hokage, gesture for her to.

Hiruzen turned towards Naruto, resting his chin in his hands, "If you knew the laws as well as you thought you did, you'd know that being a Genin doesn't automatically make you an adult, Naruto. I'm sorry, but by Konoha's standards you are not old enough to make this decision, so it will be made for you."

The blond seethed. In reality he did know about that law – even though it momentarily slipped his mind – but…it just seemed really stupid. I mean really, you were old enough to fight, kill, and die for you village, but you weren't old enough to be considered an adult. What the fuck was that all about. Yet they figured he was old enough to be a goddamn father? Seriously?

The blond sighed. He knew that a shinobi of Konoha could only be considered an adult in one of two ways. Either A: they turned sixteen or B: they became Chunin, which is when a young shinobi was considered an adult, laws be damned. So either he'd need to quickly get a quick promotion, or find a way to stall these proceedings…for three years. He quickly started thinking about the laws concerning orphans, the ones that concerning him.

"There's a council meeting at noon tomorrow to officially register you in the Clan Restoration Act. You will be there", Hiruzen finished, leaving no room for argument. "Until then, you're dismissed."

The blond glared at the old man, "Fine, so I can't legally decline. But Kakashi can." The system involving orphans, in the shinobi corps, was actually kinda interesting. Since an orphan, whom was a shinobi, could switch between guardians pretty often, there was no actual paperwork involved. This bylaw was issued to prevent more paperwork from going through the, already backed up, system.

An orphan, who first became a shinobi, became the legal responsibility of one of the instructors at the academy: Naruto's _first_ guardian was Iruka. When they became a Genin, their legal guardian became their Jounin-sensei: In Naruto's case, Kakashi was his _current_. That shinobi's Jounin-sensei would be their legal guardian until they reached adulthood, whatever method was achieved first. The only way that would change was if the Genin in question switched teams or apprenticed under another Jounin. In the first case, the Genin's new Jounin-sensei would become their legal guardian. In the second, the Jounin the Genin was apprenticed under would become that Genin's new legal guardian, and it didn't matter whether or not they were on a team with a _different_ Jounin as their sensei.

Hiruzen frowned. "If you believe so, I'll have him summoned."

"Don't bother, I'll go find him myself", the blond said as he turned to leave. He could definitely feel both Homura's and Koharu's eyes on glaring holes in the back of his head, from his obvious lack of respect. But he really didn't give a damn. Hand on the doorknob, he stopped and turned back to the old man, giving him a monotone look, "You know, I really did think you were my friend…guess I was wrong." With that he left, missing the sad look on Hiruzen's face.

I was pissed. Pissed wasn't even the word to describe what I was feeling.

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><p>-x-<p>

_Luckily, I had a way out. I was sure if I could just find Kakashi, that he would take my side. I was positive that Kakashi would help me._

_I eventually found Kakashi back in our old training field. He was staring at the Stone of Heroes…_

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><p>-x-<p>

"Kakashi-sensei, I need your help!" Naruto said, landing a few feet away from the Jounin.

Kakashi turned back towards Naruto, "Hey Naruto, what's wrong?"

"The Hokage is…" Naruto actually blushed at this point.

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

_It was kind of embarrassing to talk about. The prospect of having children, with multiple women, that is. I eventually did get over my embarrassment and spill it out. Unfortunately…Kakashi reaction wasn't what I wanted it to be._

"Don't be silly Naruto, this is the best thing that could ever happen to you?" the man said, turning back to the stone.

Naruto could only glare at the man in front of him. "It is not! This is the worst thing that could have happened to me?" Naruto felt anger swell up in the pit of his stomach when he saw Kakashi just wave him off. "Kakashi-sensei, you're the only one who can stop this. Please help me?" he pleaded.

"I can understand your reasons for feeling this way Naruto, but it won't be as bad as you think." With that, Kakashi turned away from the stone, gave Naruto one last look, before walking off. "Just place your trust in the Hokage."

"I've trusted him all my life!" Naruto growled out. "And they still treat me like I'm a damn monster!" The blond shook his head. "Damn it Kaksahi, I can't trust them with something like this."

"This is what's best for you Naruto." In truth, Kakashi was being honest when he said that he could understand Naruto's reason. If he were in the boy's place, he'd probably be in the same place. But he understood the Hokage's reasons for taking this action…and frankly it would be in Konoha's best interest to see Naruto pass on his blood as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the only way for Naruto to see that would be if they push through with their plans. With Minato and Kushina's plans. Even if it caused Naruto to be angry with them for a time. "You'll understand when you're older." With that, Kakashi disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

Naruto just stared at the area that his _sensei_ had once occupied. His fist clenched hard enough that his knuckles were turning white. "When I'm old enough…" Naruto muttered through clenched teeth.

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><p>-x-<p>

_So it seemed like I was stuck. The village was going to 'legally' force me to have children…and my future kids would have to go through the same shit I had to go through throughout my life. At least that's what I believed would happen. Like I told the Hokage, I wasn't willing to gamble on their futures._

_After Kakashi decided to do nothing to help me, I went back to the training post, the same one I had been tied to, and began beating the hell out of it. After about an hour, I let myself drop to the ground and began thinking. I tried to find a way out of my situation. I came up with three._

_The first one, and the quickest method, I decided, would be to castrate myself. You might ask yourself, was I willing to go that far? In truth, I wasn't sure if I had the guts to pull it off…no pun intended. This was simply the first option I came up with, though I soon filed it away under in __case of emergency__ (lets not look at this until you've exhausted ALL possible options). Amongst other things, it just seemed far too cowardly to do. Though it would be a total Fuck You to those old bastards. I'd get my way, and they would have to just suck it up…okay bad thoughts now._

_My second option was to run from the village, something that I actually considered for some time now. I even spent most of the time I was on the ground thinking about how I would go about doing it. How I would escape. How I would make a living. How I would avoid the hunters that would probably try to hunt me down. Etc…_

_Then I thought up the third option. When I was younger, the Hokage always used to take me aside and teach me a few things, every now and then. One day, while he was teaching me about identifying suspicious and dangerous people…he took a moment to warn me about one specific man in the village, the only man he had ever pointed out as dangerous. He told me to always stay away from this man. Hell, by the way the Hokage talked about him, I began thinking of this man as a devil. The Devil of Konoha. Seems kinda stupid when I think about what was sealed inside of me._

_Picking myself off the, I grinned at the night sky. I made my decision right there._

_I would make a Deal with the Devil himself…_

_(A/N: Sorry to interrupt the story but I just wanted to say that I __**love**__ doing Title Drops. Anyway, please enjoy the last scene.)_

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><p>-x- the next day –x-<p>

Naruto, once again, found himself standing in front of the Hokage. This time, he was in the Council Chambers. While he was standing, all the adults in the room were sitting in a U-shaped table that had Naruto surrounded on three sides. Directly in front of him, sat the Hokage. To his left sat Homura, as well as the eight Shinobi Clan Heads of Konoha. To his right sat Koharu, as well as several noteworthy _civilian_ politicians. They were all note worthy merchants really, mostly people whom advised Konoha's financial endeavors.

There were a few other people in the room, though they mostly stood in the back of the room, behind the table. The most noteworthy of which was a white haired man with an odd sense in clothing. It's weird, unlike most of the people in the room, he actually gave Naruto a knowing _smirk_ when he first entered the room. The smirk quickly faded though when he saw the expression on Naruto's face.

The Hokage, had been giving a long speech regarding the CRA, what it would entail, what privileges Naruto would be gifted with, etc. Even Naruto had to admit that it sounded nice…but that didn't change his mind, not for a second. The Hokage finished his speech and looked up at Naruto, frowning. "Since the person in question is a minor, we will now turn to his guardian to ratify this decision." He quickly turned to a nearby ANBU, "It seems Kakashi has _finally_ arrived in the tower. Run down and make sure he doesn't take longer than necessary."

The blond frowned, 'Is he ever on time for anything?' Naruto knew, as he watched the Cat-masked ANBU go and get Kakashi, that he was spiteful. He didn't entirely care though, in his mind, he had every right to be. He was the one being pushed into another situation that he had no say in, and it wasn't like the village would be destroyed the next day if he refused to have children, so it wasn't like this one was vital to the villages existence.

A few moments later, the doors opened again, and Cat walked in with Kakashi. The Jounin went to stand a few feet to Naruto's left.

Showtime.

The Hokage nodded towards Kakashi, "Kakashi-"

"Excuse me Hokage-sama", Naruto interrupted. He made sure to address the old man by his proper title; he'd never address the man in a personal sense again. He actually thought he saw a look of hurt flash across Sarutobi's face before the old man hid it.

"What is it Naruto-kun?" the Hokage asked.

"There must be some mistake", most people in the room raised an eyebrow at this, "because this man isn't my legal guardian."

"What?" Homura asked, voicing out everyone's confusion. Kakashi was actually visibly shocked, which was funny considering the man was still wearing his mask.

After reigning in his shock, the Hokage frowned at the boy, "What do you mean Naruto…" he asked, a feeling of dread filling his stomach. Loudly, a chair behind the Council's table creaked. All the members of the Council turned as they all heard someone getting to his feet. The Hokage didn't bother to turn; from the direction of the noise the Hokage already knew who had stood. He waited as the person moved around the Council's table, every other person in the room carefully watching him, as if any moment he would strike at the least aware one. The Hokage's eyes bore into the man, wishing him to just drop dead, as the man moved to stand behind Naruto. Hiruzen watched as the man put his remaining hand on Naruto's right shoulder. "Danzo…"

Danzo Shimura smiled at his long time rival. "Little Naruto here has asked to apprentice under me." Their was a short pause as Danzo's eyes bore into the Hokage…though it wasn't clearly visible, Naruto assumed it was an old man's equivalent of saying _Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah. _"By the laws of Konohagakure, that would make _me_ his legal guardian."

Sarutobi let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. Kakashi could only look at the scene before him in utter shock, and surprisingly visible pain. Koharu actually gave the boy a look that would have smote him where he stood, if it had been possible. Homura merely frowned. Most of the rest of the council began chatting amongst themselves. The white haired man in back was, strangely, letting out a large amount of killer intent.

Danzo's smiled widened. "And as his legal guardian, I refuse to allow this boy to take part in your Clan Restoration Act."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Like I said, not sure if I'll continue this story. But do let me know what you think.**

**!REVIEW! **


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